The poem of the day

Djävulen är gud

och Gud är djävul

och jag blev lärd

att dyrka dem båda

den ena på ett sätt

den andra på ett annat

Gunnar Ekelöf 

Egenmäktigt förfarande-en roman om kärlek

s.48

Ester sa:

Jag tror att grundproblemet är att andras handlingar tolkar vi behavioristiskt, utifrån och objektivt. Våra egna tolkar vi fenomenologiskt, inifrån medvetandet. Det är människans dilemma. Och på grund av det har vi alla en sådan vidsträckt förståelse för våra egna handlingar, och så liten för andras. 

s.50

(Ester läser Människans revolt. Camus skrev den i protest mot Sartres revolutionära totalitarism.)

Revolution är oförenlig med människans hjärnas funktionssätt. Det vill säga med människan. Vi klarar inte av hantera revolutionens inneboende absolutism och plötslighet. Allt människor gör sker gradvis. Alla insikter hon gör, alla tankar, allt som hänger och sägs ingår i processer, lager av gjorda erfarenheter. Själva livet levs gradvis, per definition, och medvetandet är gjort sådant, per evolution. Kärleken söker vi oss till att känna att någon ser oss.

s.98-99
Fysikernas bryderi:
Att vi inte minns det som ännu ej har inträffat.
Filosofernas bryderi:
Att vi minns något bara för att det inträffat.
Psykologernas bryderi:
Att vi minns som det passar oss.
Politikernas bryderi:
Att folk har minne.
Medicinarnas bryderi:
Att minnet sviktar.
De olyckliga älskandes bryderi:
Att minnet av det som hänt förändrar oss.

s.199
Människorna är ju skapade för att plåga varandra

The poet who gave me a kiss on my cheek

While the morning lights are rising at the moment, I wanted to share an amazing story of me with reading a book this week and the interesting happenings around that couple of years ago.

Yes, it was almost 2 years ago, when I was feeling alone as usually in that city, Stockholm, in my student room in Gärdet. On a Saturday night I headed to a place called Marie Laveau in Södermalm. There while I was trying to get a drink from the bar, a woman she was also in a hurry trying to catch the bartender. Then she started to talk to me in Swedish. At that time I couldn’t ever do the basic Swedish talks, so I asked her to speak in english. We met with each other. Her name was Kristina. She was little bit tipsy and on her good mood. Right there she wanted me to listen a song from her mobile phone using head phone. It was a special song that was written and performed for her. I listened the music and I don’t remember really if it was a good song. 

She said to me that she was a writer or poet and that she had her own book a little while ago published called “Sjöpojken”. She wrote down the name of the book in to my hand with a pen that she had in her small bag. We talked pretty much about what we think about literature and our point of view on different subjects but I really don’t remember what we ended up with. Anyway, after a while she asked for permission to go to bathroom. And she also asked me to stay at the bar so that she could find me as she comes back. 

I stayed there for long time but she didn’t come back. After I was sure that she would not return, I was thinking about why the girls do lie so same, asking for going to toilet as a run. I was demoralised and wanted to leave the place, on my way to exit we saw each other, she was even drunken, she looked at my face with her dizzy eyes. She came close to me gave a kiss to my cheek and went away again without saying anything else.

I checked out her book on the internet the day after. I found her web page; http://www.kristinasigunsdotter.se/

There was a lot of information about her works which were quite impressive. She had her phone number as well in that page, so after being quite interested in her world, I just wanted to see if it was possible to have a “fika” or a drink so that we could talk little bit more about the works she did. For me it could be an opportunity to have a friendship which would let me go into a world of an author or an artist which I was curious in terms of the city I was living at that moment. After couple of attempts to arrange a meeting, it ended up with each time that she had some other plans. Ok I gave up texting her so far. So I shut the case there till this week when I suddenly remembered about her book “sjöpojken”, because I was becoming better and better in Swedish after getting some Swedish courses and reading some Swedish books with the help of dictionaries. I ordered the book from the internet. In two, three days it was driven from the opening on my door with some other mails. I started reading it directly after i jumped into my bed. I read it nonstop without berathtaking. First, it was only a 64 page book, and secondly the flow of the book was dragging. 

There were some parts which I found very strong.

“Till Lyosha och dom andra ensamma pojkarna”

I was almost shocked with this first sentence when i opened the first page to start reading. Oh God! How much I felt alone during the time I was living in this city. And there was not any other place in the world that could sweep away this feeling from me. Finally I there I found some people considering the lonely guys in this world.

Then came another part;

“I bakgrunden ser du Staden, det pyr ur skorstenar och kloakhål, upp smogen som är så tätt att den täcker solen och gör det omöjligt för dig att veta om det är natt eller dag. Det finns heller klockor i Staden. Tiden existerar bara genom Pianistens, mina, toner. Det är jag som bestämmer när natt blir dag och dag blir natt. Det är jag som bestämmer invånarnas sinnesstämning. Jag är nyckfull. Ibland låter jag det vara natt i flera dygn, ibland tar morgonen här aldrig slut.”

There is something so powerful in these words which I cannot express and I won’t. They are just whispering me some feelings that I was struggling with, living with, and familiar with. I had many times very high impulse in lots of words and phrases that I read through the book.

So an interesting relationship for me with a book and its author, from a run to a lovely reading… 

A summerday in fotografiska outdoor sittting

I’m writing in this wonderful summer day of Stockholm from the Forografiska’s outdoor sitting. Having my drink on the table, turning my head little bit around and watching the beautiful city: to the left, Gamlastan, to right then comes skeppsholmen and Gröna lund. Warm melody flies in a harmony into the air, Dj makes a good performance of getting different African tones. I think this place is gonna be my favorite summer place. It is so nice to be here, to listen to music, to grab same drinks or eat while enjoying the red-yellow colors of sun, blue of sea, green of spring and architecture of the city spread around.

Yesterday I went to theater in Dramaten to see a play called “Utvandrarna”. You may have heard about it. It is based on the novel written by Vilhem Moberg, writing on Swedish people emigrating to USA due to poverty. It is so interesting to see how yesterdays poor country, Sweden, is todays one of the richest country. From the situation of emigration to immigration. Maybe all those who voted for SD should also watch or read the book but iam afraid they are not so smart to draw that conclusion. Anyway the play made me think about how the world is so dynamic. There are always people moving from somewhere because of wars, poverty, better life conditions, passions, change, love, escape etc.  The only negative part of the play was that it was too long (3.5 hours). I couldn’t get all the Swedish text and the flow of the play was boring so I run after the break. I would prefer to see its dance version hopefully. Above all, it was my first time seeing a play in “Dramatens stora scenen”. I am happy that I did it finally.

The event of the week for me was to go to a modern dance show in Dansenshuset. Actually it was mixture of both dance and theater. The performing group was from UK and it’s called DV8 physical theater. Before and after the show I watched their other works from the internet and I loved them and I got more inspiration to begin a modern dance course. The show called “John”. It is about homosexuality issue in UK. The play based on interviewing many men and getting their experience into the stage.  But I mostly liked their previous works one of which I strongly recommend you called “The cost of living”. You can find it on youtube.

The discussion around the election results is everywhere here. All people are talking about this but not in my workplace. I guess it is kind of taboo to talk about politics at work. Swedish people just ignore it. I do too. I think all we can do, no matter where we are and what we do, is to find or create the possibilities to contribute the movement, parties and other organizations fighting for human rights, a better world and against racism, homophobia and etc. And we should not forget that it is a long term process. 

GÄVLE in Sweden

Diyarbekir

Dedi Diyarbekirine gidiyorum
Dedim ne guzel o zaman
Dedi çok severim ben onu
Dedim senin olsun Diyarbekir
Dedi  istesen  Dersimi benden vermem bir karış
Dedim al Diyarbekiri istediğin kadar
Dedi almam diyarbekiri, keserler bizi
Üzüldüm



6 Eylül, Stockholm

A review on Janam by Rojda&Priya

Today I want to talk about a currently published music video in which one of my dear friend Rojda Sahin has participated and contributed both in the whole creation of concept and lyrics. The name of the song is "janam" which is quite meaningful in lots of easten cultures for expressing your love, but for me it is hard to convey the meaning through translation and I will not. While watching and listening the song for several times, I have come up with some critiques with few words. Lets first watch one more time together and then listen what it tells us.

I think this song harmonizes easten style expression of feelings with western style of rythmes. The lyrics are from several languages. Indian by Priya, Turkish by Rojda, and English by Bobby. I would be happier if Rojda could put some words from her own language Kurdish (Kirmanci) as well. 
The underlying philosophy of RUMI* as the theme of the whole song ironically touches upon the contemporary life in which it has been represented symbolically by the architecture of city of Stockholm,-a city which is known with its cold climate relationship, a syndrome and high rate of suicide. 
Through the shiny colorful custumes of both Rojda and Priya, it reminds me movies of Almadovar, -Spanish director, especially "Volver" in which he evoked emotions with colors. "Almadovar paints his heroines in exactly those theree colors from which all other colors can be mixed - red, yellow and blue- reinforcing his notion that women are the source off all living beings."** 

Above all, I must say that I found it quite succesfull for a group of people who has done this piece of art in their first attempt. And finally I wish good luck to them, and looking forward to their future projects.




*Rumi  is a 13th century muslim saint and Anatolian mystic known throught the world for his exquisite poems and word of wisdom.  source: http://www.mevlana.net/
**Source: http://www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,429905,00.html

Paris, the city of beauty